How is that some people grow up hearing praise for their abilities and wind up with an ego that wouldn’t fit inside the biggest football stadium and others wind up modest and unpretentious?
It would be hard to imagine a great leader without a healthy sense of self worth and confidence. But there is a fine line between confidence and abrasive ego. Once you cross that line, how does someone give you the feedback to cross back? How can this person be convinced it is necessary?
I spent a few hours yesterday with a group of coaches talking about this very thing. One of them described a young executive who grew up hearing he could do anything, nothing and no one could stop him. The kind of confidence he has makes him fearless in tackling any kind of challenge. A wonderful attribute and one that can be attractive to both the boss and the followers. It is this attitude that can spread inside a team and create a “can do” spirit, an innovative environment for pushing the envelope and making things happen.
But, he doesn’t know failure, has never felt it and has never had constructive feedback that caused him an ounce of self doubt. This person plows forward, fearlessly
Having confidence in yourself is a prize beyond measure. Thinking you cannot fail, is a particularly harmful blind spot. People follow leaders with confidence in themselves and their beliefs. People get hurt by leaders who think they cannot fail.
So how can we provide the necessary feedback to leaders who have a blind spot but are not open to feedback? Can it be done? Are the followers of this leader just simply doomed? Is there a check a boss can put on this leader to open their eyes and ears to be responsive to feedback?
The check is in the culture of the organization. The check is in placing this person with a boss who will force failure to happen and will be there to pick up the pieces, allowing the person to learn, finally, from failure. Failure is the ultimate leveler.
